click here to be transported to the new home of misscelaneous mom -
Since I can’t just up and leave my life, I’ve decided to up and leave my blog host. No biggie. Nothing really happened. It’s amicable. Anyway, check it out and don’t be creepy: let me know you’ve dropped by (follow me!).
On another note, if you should find yourself at my fancy new blog and you should happen upon some ads on the site, feel free to click on them. Fun! Maybe I get money? Maybe they’ve threatened my first born if you don’t comply?
One other thing: could you wash your hands before you arrive at my new site? There’s a lot going around right now.
Isn’t it just so sad when a famous couples’ kid isn’t cute?
Sad. But satisfying.
After having a conversation with a stranger about how luxurious my son’s hair is, I decided to re-gift the boy’s hand- me- down coat she’s been sporting. I promptly bought a bright pink coat for her and that’s that. I tried. I tried not to care. I tried to steer away from all the pinks, lilacs, and so on. I really don’t want to dress her in pink and other ‘girl’ colours exclusively. Actually, I think what bothers me the most is the fact that her blue coat was obviously a hand- me- down. I don’t care about the gender confusion, really. Ultimately, that’s Spawn’s cross to bear. I had acne when I was younger, you know? And my brother had scoliosis. There are no free passes.
Who am I kidding? I still have acne.
CNNBC video -
So. At first I was hesitant to post this news clip of myself but then I thought: no, let me be an inspiration to the millions of other moms out there who torment themselves with thoughts of inadequacy, wondering if they, too, can so prolifically blog and parent simultaneously. You can do it!
You’re welcome, world.
This ad makes me think about this whole H1N1 vaccination business. Sometimes ‘they’ tell you that certain things are fine when they aren’t fine. Like, letting your baby sleep under a tanning light. Let me tell you and I won’t say it again: do not attempt to tan your baby with a diaper on. Because of their fragile, new skin those tan lines will take forever to fade. Last night I gave Spawn a bath. She cried a little initially but I figured she was just fussing because it was her first bath ever. When I took her out later, it looked like she had pink tights on. Oops! I guess the water was a little too warm! Her boiled lobster lower half was too cute though. At least I can blame every and any behavioral problem that my kids have on the vaccination. Like Jenny McCarthy. And then I can sue the Government. I don’t need to set up an education fund after all. Awesome!
I’m not sure when it happens but thank God it does. How horrible would life be if we never grew out of the crazy sleep moves that babies have? Every time I check on my dependent she’s in a different corner of her crib. Sometimes she’s sleeping on her back, sometimes her face. If we kept these nocturnal aerobics up, we’d have to be like couples on sitcoms from the 1950’s and sleep in twin beds separated by a night stand. There would be no way that two people could share one bed. Why would my silent partner put the box spring wrong side up and yet still put our mattress on top of it? It took a couple months but finally, I am sleeping in a mattress valley. While I toss and turn in a rage while my neck seizes up, I think about stuff like: if we tried sleeping in twin beds, separated by a night stand, would we have to have three night stands in total? Because who would control the light if you had just the one table in the middle? And I like symmetry. The only options could be three side tables, the one in the middle or none. And ‘none’ is just ridiculous. Where the hell would my associate put the change from his pocket that I steal for over priced coffee? Anyway, kids sleep stupid.
Why have I been under the impression that other mothers with young children are the demographic I should be trying to spend time with? People with dogs are where it’s at! They have to walk them everyday. More than once, actually. And people with new dogs are the real deal because they still want to walk them all the time and Spawn and I can tag along. With moms, I have to work around their kid’s nap schedules, eating schedules, etc. Bonus: Spawn will grow very comfortable at seeing a smaller being wearing a leash and this is something I want her to be very familiar with. I still haven’t forgotten about the baby leash. It’s going to happen. Very soon.
I just saw the craziest story on TLC’s I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant. This woman discovered she was pregnant when she went into labour. Although she never wanted children, she managed to go full term and delivered a daughter. She said that she felt ‘love at first site’ when she held her baby.
Can you imagine?! I mean, can you imagine that she felt love at first site! I mean, she learned she was pregnant and delivered a baby within a few short hours! And it made me feel like the worst mother. I already felt like I had an abnormally long detached period toward Spawn when she first arrived. But I attributed it to the traumatic torture I had endured and decided it was ‘normal’. But friends who’ve since had babies never seemed to have this warming up period? Maybe with the next one I’ll feel this fabled ‘love at first site’. That would mean I loved my second child best. Off to a good start! What a winner!
To vaccinate or not to vaccinate. That is the question. I’m sure there is a direct correlation between distrust of the media and apprehension surrounding the H1N1 vaccine. At any rate, I’ve decided to do it. I was wondering if North America’s up-tightness was about to explode when it comes to touching in an effort to avoid spreading or contracting the virus? Forget about the double cheek kiss. Say good-bye to the strong handshake. Next up: curt nod. At first, the social weirdo in me thought that was great. Then the scientist in me thought I would help mother nature do her business and separate the wheat from the chaff. I’m moving right into open mouth kisses, full body hugs and aggressive eye contact to round things off. If you survive, great! If not… It’s survival of the fittest, people.
On an unrelated note: I’m bathing Spawn in scalding water and hand sanitizer. And outfitting her in plastic wrap, head to toe.
I want to congratulate my good friend who just arrived home from the hospital with her brand new baby boy! He is very cute and I’m not just saying that because she’s my friend. I’m not even close to that nice. Anyway, he really is exceptionally cute. So, congratulations on not getting any stretch marks! WOW. Way to go on the creating life, too! xoxo