May 2009
17 posts
I yell out because I’ve hurt myself and the baby starts to cry and then I have to comfort her. This perfectly incapsulates motherhood.
Alright fine. I was getting my eyebrows waxed and I didn’t cry out but she did start to cry and I still felt worse for me but couldn’t show it. BTW, a baby does not mix with a day spa atmosphere. They aren’t always that zen.
Charles (Chuck, Charlie, Chaz, Chip, Chuckles,...
I have some pregnant friends and this unnerves me.
Do I tell them what names I have planned for my future children or do I let the chips fall where they may? Can I include names I like but might not use but would be sad if they used? You know, you always want the greener grass on the other side of the tracks? Or whatever. I think I’ll just be mature (since I’m a parent now) and email...
Baby Bonus!
#3
Although their are some moms who are stronger then I am, I find it hard to maintain the social life I had pre-baby. Beacause Spawn insists on waking up before noon, I have had to drastically cut back on my wine and martini intake. So, baby bonus: I’m hung over a lot less. Plus, at my baby music class the moms and babes would have to get into tight circles at the end and I had to pretend...
Vacation
My friend is home sick from work. She’s so lucky! I wish I could go on vacation… Being sick is the only way to get a vacation from parenting. Or exercising. Or getting groceries. These vacations are lame.
Going on an actual vacation would be so different now. I’d see so much more of the place just by virtue of being awake for many more hours in the day, like the whole morning....
One game I've grown weary of...
is that one where the kid throws stuff on the ground and then I pick it up and the she throws it on the ground, repeat, etc. This isn’t one of those activities that is fun for both “parent and child” like watching Oprah or going out for ladies’ lunch. Which reminds me of a question I’ve been dying to ask since I found out I was pregnant: when is it too early to start...
Look at me! Look at me! →
Summer time isn’t all cold beer and BBQs. There is one summer time reality, and I don’t care who you are**, that is hard to face: popping your summer bathing suit cherry. That first time you have to take your shirt off and let your skirt fall to your ankles. In public. In broad daylight. Sober as a judge. All I can hope for is that any on-lookers are wearing sunglasses in order to...
What do you call you mother? I call mine ‘mom’. When I was little I called her ‘mother’ because I wanted to sound mature. Since I not only get to chose my kid’s name, I also get to chose what she calls me, I chose ‘maman’. I wanted to call her a French name but my associate wasn’t having it so instead I’ll have the French name. My mom always...
Mother's Day is my day.
I started to do some light on-line research (wikipedia) about Mother’s Day. It was all very boring. Blah, blah, blah, I get presents from now until I die. And although my daughter is too young to know this now, I will make it a priority to teach her the importance of the perfect blend of thoughtful, homeade presents and good, store bought presents that I actually want. I figure I’ll...
Here is a list of things I feel I should be able...
student loan payments. At least I souldn’t be penalized for paying late. They’re pretty lucky that I remember at all and should be grateful. Student Loans needs to start a gratitude journal.
You know, we need to get someone on the ‘inside’. If I knew someone who worked at the student loan call centre and had access to the files, I would find a group of people who wanted...
My baby dislikes me again. She did at first. Well, to be fair it was more disinterest than dislike. And to be honest, I wasn’t wild about her either. I was too traumatized to feel anything overwhelmingly positive. But now because she’s in a serious Sleep Therapy regiment, there’s no mistaking it: she’s not my biggest fan. I was telling this to a friend and she said that...
wonderful.
I just remembered that I missed my baby’s latest check up. Great. Now I’ll look like a negligent parent and I’ll never know if she’s in the best percentiles for everything. And I was going to ask about the availability of some sort of organic, all natural baby tranquilizer. Another sleepless month, I guess.
